Terminology

*This is one of the first photos we received of Bubba (I found it yesterday). He was just a few weeks old, with his foster mother and her mother.


Everywhere you turn, there is different terminology to be used and only a set group of people may be privileged to learn it. You may find this in the work place, within certain social circles, or hanging out with a younger generation. Nonetheless, it is there. For instance, Evander's day is filled with things like spend, dry runs, and the ESC. He speaks to vendors and customers about the best product line for bradycardia, syncope, and atherosclerosis, and I have no idea what he is saying. When Evander and his mother begin a conversation, I might as well leave the room because it is a foreign language to me. If you are not in this particular environment, then you, likely, have no idea what the other person may be talking about.


So, it should come as no surprise to anyone that the same holds true for the adoption community and the autism community. Each of these "communities" has its own glossary of terms, for which outsiders are now privy to, but one difference remains. I have found that, at work, if I say TEKS instead of TAKS, I am corrected and we move on, but that is not the case with these 2 communities. A fine line exists between appropriate terms and downright offensive ones, and an outsider shines like a full moon on Halloween.


I will begin with the adoption community, because I was just looking through some old emails yesterday from when Bubba was in foster care. Even the subject lines of the emails would seem foreign to some. There were emails about pink slips and PGN, some about DNA and fingerprints. I began to giggle because it almost sounded criminal. While I can laugh at it, others cannot, and many are easily offended. For instance, never say real mother or mother when you are speaking of the child's birth mother. Never ask adoptive parents if the child is theirs (he/she is still their child whether he/she is adopted or biological). Also, don't assume you know the ethnicity of the child. Simply ask the ethnicity, country of origin, or race of the child. Trust me...an adoptive parent would much rather you ask than assume their child is Chinese (when he is really Guatemalan).


It doesn't get less offensive when moving to the autism community, either. While this community, with its special terminology, is new to me, I quickly learned to watch my step. There are words like neurotypical and non-neurotypical. You should never say normal or not normal. Also, there are the ABCs of treatment such as: PT (physical therapy), OT (occupational therapy), ST (speech therapy), and ABA (applied behavior analysis). There is also biomedical treatment (all the stuff we are doing) and the vaccine fence. There are DAN! doctors (Defeat Autism Now), thimerosal (mercury preservative in vaccines), and TACA (talk about curing autism). It just goes on and on!


While I always thought the adoption community was the most sensitive I had seen, I had yet to experience the autism community. These parents are strong-willed, have definite opinions, and will not budge. They are working to recover and protect their children at all costs. They have no time for sympathy, ridiculous comments on their child's behavior, or someones opinion on their chosen course of treatment. They have HOPE on their side and nothing will stand in their way. Adoptive parents and parents of ASD children are some of the best parents I have seen, both striving for happiness for their child.
*Bubba's PPCD eval is tomorrow morning!