Do I Go?

Do I go back or not? This question has been floating around in my already occupied mind since last year at this time. I have been contemplating going back to work, back to teaching, but I don't know if I can. I want to leave my crazy life for 8 hours a day and just have a little time to myself, but I'm not sure I can let go of everything that entails.
Weekly GFCF menus, therapy 4 times a week, special preschool, countless supplements, and tantrum control is what my day currently consists of. I count words instead of listening to their meaning. I police food to make sure a goldfish doesn't end up in the wrong hands, and I count protein like a bank teller closing out her drawer. I hide supplements in juice and sit in waiting rooms so Bubba can attend his weekly therapies. Often, while I am sitting, I think of what I could be doing. I could be shaping young minds or grading papers. I could be watching recess or policing the lunchroom. I miss what I do, and I would love to forget my day as it is now.
What is holding me back? The very reasons I want to go to work are the very things holding me back. Our family has had to make sacrifices in order for Bubba to recover, and he is. He is doing so well. What if it stops? What if he regresses? He enjoys his little routine, and I am a part of that. He has come to expect me on the other side of the therapy door saying "Great job!" He has come to understand that the supplements make him better and wheat/dairy makes him sick. He knows I count his words and then respond, but he doesn't mind. In fact, I think he likes the extra attention. He knows I need him to "take a breath" when he gets upset, and he knows I understand him when no one else does. We have all put so much into his recovery. I would hate to be the one to derail the train.
So, for now, I continue to imagine what I may do come January. Do I fill out an application or do I stay at home for one more year? Only time will tell.