Injection Phobia

As a child (and even as an adult), I hated the thought of getting a injection. My mother has told me stories of times that I kicked nurses or had to be physically restrained in the "shot room" as I affectionately called it (my pediatrician's office had a separate room that you went to receive an injection). I even heard of a time when I was so tense, the medication literally came back out of my leg and the injection had to be given again. As an adult, I was no better. In order to receive a TB test for my student teaching, I had to have medication prescribed. I hyperventilated every time my blood was drawn and would opt for 20 days of pills over one injection. So...it is no wonder that I freak out each time my children receive an injection.
Yesterday, Baby and Bubba visited the pediatrician for another sinus infection (for Bubba) to be diagnosed. While there, the doctor asked if they had received their flu shots and I admitted they had not. Baby took her flu shot like her momma. She screamed and cried before she even received the shot. She tried to push the nurse out of the door and was yelling "Go home? Go home, Mommy!" I, however, did as I should and held her down while they stabbed a gigantic needle into her tiny, yet chubby, little thigh, fighting off my own tears. Everything was fine until that afternoon.
While sitting in the waiting room at Bubba's feeding therapy session, Baby looked up at me, and I immediately knew something was wrong. You can always see in her eyes when she is sick, so I scooped her up and felt of her head. She was burning up! I was trying to act as if nothing was wrong, because I was in a room with immune-compromised children and parents waiting to pounce on a sick child. I held Baby and counted down the minutes until Bubba was with us. I have no idea what his therapist said to me because I was racing to the car, all the while cursing myself for letting my baby get a flu shot. We got home and I took her temp... 102.4. I searched for the flu shot handout they gave me at the doctor to see if a fever should be expected. It said slight fever...causes for concern: high fever. What the hell constitutes a high fever in the flu shot information world? For me 102.4 was high but was it high for a flu shot?
I gave her tylenol and was getting her ready for bed when I noticed she sounded a little short of breath. I mentioned it to Evander who said she just sounds a little stopped up. Relax mom! I was afraid she was having a reaction to the shot, but that was silly. I'm sure she will be fine, I continued to tell myself as I put her to bed. I then tried to relax and watch Grey's Anatomy, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.
I made myself wait until after GA was over and went in to check on her. As soon as I entered her room I could here her breathing, or should I say lack of breathing. Her breaths were incredibly shallow and extremely rapid. I bent over to touch her forehead and noticed her little chest working so hard. Then I touched her and she was hot to the touch, so I ran for the thermometer... 103.7. "Evander!", I screamed. He came in to check on her, and she awoke and immediately began to cry. She and I rushed to the ER, while Evander stayed behind to look after Bubba.
At the ER check-in/triage the nurse began to tell me that ALL children have high fevers after the flu shot and she wasn't having a reaction. I explained that I understand high fevers but I do not understand a 103.7 fever and respiratory distress. I wanted to give this lady a piece of my mind but my baby needed me, and I did not have time to deal with ignorance at the moment. As she weighed Baby, she began to cry and that is when I heard it. It was the barky seal cough followed by the strider sound when she calmed. I had heard that barky cough three time last winter, and I said "That sounds like croup".
We were rushed back into a bed and saw the doctor almost immediately. The doctor confirmed my suspicions. "She has croup. It was just a coincidence that she had the flu shot today. Children should never run a fever over 101 with a flu shot, so you did the right thing (ha! ha! ignorant nurse lady)." They gave her a steroid, tylenol, and motrin and sent us home. I checked on her during the night and she was doing better. We visited our pediatrician this morning, where we received more steroids and she is doing even better.
I should have known that it wasn't the flu shot that gave her a reaction, but it was just my first thought. I have always had an issue with injections, but it was unfounded. As an adult and a parent of a child on the autism spectrum, I know way more than I want to about injections, and it feeds my fear. This is why I support green vaccines. I know that children need vaccines, but it just scares me to think of all the potential consequences.