Guatemalan, Adopted, Autistic

When you are the mother of a typical child, there aren't too many questions that bother you. Strangers are constantly asking where Baby gets her curly hair or why she is so large. While some of the comments and questions may be bold, it never bothers me. With Bubba, however, it is a different story. I suppose I feel that I am his protector and need to shield him from the ignorance of the world. People are always making racially charged comments in the presence of my Hispanic son, and it bothers me. Family members discuss "Mexicans" as if they were put on the Earth to sweep up after others and friends speak of African Americans as if they are disgusted by them. When alone with Bubba, Evander or I have been asked "What is he mixed with?" and "Is your wife Mexican?"

These comments constantly leave me wondering when to explain adoption and when to shut up. Many of you know that it is hard for me to simply shut up, so I usually respond with a relatively heated and extremely rude comment that leaves the ignorant person to swim in their ridiculousness (example: My husband isn't Mexican, but my mother is African American). I realize that, as Bubba gets older, I must stop this. He is much too smart and now understands what I am saying. I do not want him to be ashamed to be adopted or Hispanic, but I also don't want him to feel that he must explain himself everywhere he goes. Which brings me to the next issue.

While in Alabama, I had several people comment on Bubba's "shyness". I simply smiled and ignored them, thinking to myself "I wish it were that simple". Then I began to think...should I be explaining Bubba's autism spectrum disorder? Should I correct those who assume Bubba is simply shy by describing the real issue? I also do not want him to be ashamed of his autism, but I don't want him to feel that he must explain this either. I spoke to my friend Joy about this and she said she always explained, and it has worked for them.

I just don't know, though. Is it my duty to educate the world on prejudice, adoption, AND autism? At times, I feel like it is. This is what we signed up for when we chose to adopt internationally, and it is our job to make the world a better place for our son. While typical mothers may ponder how their child's red hair sprouted, I am left to wonder how to inform others. I do not want Bubba to feel that he is being explained away, but I do want him to be proud of who he is and where he came from. Guatemalan, Autistic, Adopted...and Proud!