I'm Different

There are many topics I expect Bubba to bring up throughout his life. At some point I'm sure he will want birth family information and maybe even photos. He may want to know why we chose to adopt or why he was placed for adoption. I even anticipated the "where was I born" questions while I was pregnant, but I had no idea the "I am different" conversation would surface for at least a few more years.
As I was getting the kids ready for bed Bubba said, "Baby and me don't like us!". When I asked what he meant he repeated the statement. I, then, incorrectly assumed he was trying to say that Baby didn't like him or he didn't like Baby, so I assured him that Baby is his friend. This is when it all started.
"Well... I don't like me."
"Why don't you like you?" Evander questioned.
"I'm different!"
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I'm different from baby." he elaborated.
"How are you different?"
"I'm brown and Baby is not."
Evander and I looked at one another in complete shock. I anticipated this conversation around 5 or 6 but never 4. We continued the conversation by explaining that everyone is different, but they also have things that are the same. We went through his list of friends as he told us what color each one was, and then we assured him that we love him no matter what color he may be.
After he went to bed I sat on the couch in amazement. His intelligence shines with each of these conversations, and his growth since beginning the attachment parenting is unbelievable. He has really begun to make progress, and I am happy with how far we have come.

Gregory Circus

Just as we jumped on the autism bandwagon, we are now ringleaders of the attachment circus. This comes complete with juggling emotions, walking the tightrope between positive feedback and angry outbursts, and clowning around to encourage interaction.

Each day we manage emotions, his and ours. With every incident we respond with "It makes me feel ____ when you ___". We have to be very careful to state the behavior and not the child. We have to explain our feelings without necessarily showing them.

In our house you will often hear "you are making poor choices" or "I love you even when you __". We are trying to teach Bubba that he has a choice in his behavior and his actions affect others.

Over the past week I have been playing games with him to encourage interaction. By games I don't mean Monopoly! We have played things like peek-a-boo, patty cake, and row your boat. While these may seem infantile, their purpose is not for developmental growth but social interaction.

Believe it or not, we have started to see progress. He has begun to express his emotions more with words than actions and he has seemed to open up a little more. He is now speaking in paragraphs (just at home) and behaves more appropriately in some social settings. While we still have far to go, I an encouraged by how far he has come. We may have found the missing piece to our puzzle.